Erev Shabbath Qodesh Parshath Yithro 5769
After the two years of taunting I have incurred regarding waffles, and how everyone, blogger and non-blogger alike, seems to be entitled to receive them from Jameel Rashid but me, I have had enough.
Waffles this, waffles that, waffles this and that....
Jameel and his sidekick in crime Jack Be Nimble will now have to go on the run, as I pursue them to the ends of the earth. No longer will I have waffles waved in my face, and then moments later have them violently withdrawn, receiving only raspberries,...and not the kind you can eat either.
The taunting, the teasing, the shame, the embarrassment....
I have tried everything to make them stop and leave me alone. I have tried exposing their racket. I have tried stalking them. I have tried exposing Jameel's secret identity. I have even tried ignoring them. Nothing works.
So now I must resort to espionage, sabotage. and all sorts of other clever things. I will be the bane of the existence. I will foil their plans at every turn. When I am finished with them, they will never be able to enjoy another waffle again!!
I will begin by revealing the location of their secret lair, the Waffle Bar. My spies have revealed that Jameel Rashid frequents The Waffle Bar in Jerusalem, not the "cool" location on Shlomtzion Street, but the tacky one in Talpiyoth. My spies have revealed that Jameel must periodically feed in futile attempt to satisfy his insatiable waffle addiction.
He meets up with Jack via video conferencing in order to plan their next set of foul deeds.
But now, they will have to find a new, secret lair, thus postponing their evil plans for another day.
I'll get you Jameel! Just you wait!
What happens when Jameel tries to make waffles with his organic, whole-wheat flour that I stealthily replaced with disgusting soybean flour, replete with female hormones!