Friday, August 02, 2013

Top Ten Signs You've Lived In Israel for a While

ערב שבת קודש פר' ראה תשע"ג

10. You know which post offices have the shortest lines in your city.

9. You speak to an English-speaking tourist. He looks at you dumbfounded. And then you realize that half of the words you just used were actually Hebrew.

8. You happened to be walking through a dark alley in the Talpiyoth Indutrial Zone, and you bump into someone you know.

7. Kids speaking Hebrew, talking on the phones, messing around, and playing music loudly on the bus does not bother you. But, when someone is speaking in English loudly it does.

6. Americans accuse you of being from a part of your country of origin than you really are, due to the loss of your distinct regional accent.

5. Native Israelis can tell, more or less, where you live in Israel, by how you dress and/or which slang you use. (eg. אין דבר כזה vs. אין כזה דבר)

4. When you search for an apartment, you better than to look at any ads in English, because you know they are automatically going to be twice as much as anything in advertized in Hebrew.

3. When you are introduced to a fellow English-speaker in Hebrew, and you stick to speaking in Hebrew, or at least half and half.

2. When they shop calling you "sir" or "ma'am" in the Shuq, and start calling you "friend" or "brother."

1. You forget a word in English.

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